Thursday, February 7, 2013

The month of the heart

Today, my heart is breaking as I just learned that our good friend Bob Paley passed away tonight. I can't tell you what losing a friend of over forty years means. There are no words except that this is the month of the heart and my heart is broken. Yet in some ways, my heart is full for knowing this man.

We first met Bob in the early seventies. He had just moved up to northern California from southern California and arrived in style. He was a big fish in a small pond. He had the most beautiful woman with him at the time too. Martha became the mother of his two wonderful children, Sunny and Silver who have turned out to be the most incredible young people anyone would ever want to meet. And I'm sure it is no accident that they are the way they are. It was because of the influence, in part, of Bob on their lives.

Bob was an incredible gardener. He had a way with flowers that I have never seen before. I could not see him for a week, return a week later, and the garden would have exploded. Vegetables and flowers alike. He had a way of taking care of plants that I have never seen in my entire life. They responded to him. They loved him. And the feeling was mutual.

Bob also loved animals. I don't think I ever saw him without a dog. And sometimes not just one but multiple dogs. If he had to give them away after they were weaned he took great care to select just the right person to raise that animal. He knew if it was a good fit. He had some sort of sixth-sense about animals. I guess it translated from animals to plants as well.

He owned many restaurants and man...was he a good cook. The restaurants were decorated from the rafters with dried flowers of every variety. If you would look up, you would think you were in his backyard by the plethora of color that adorned the rafters. He was known for his gift of gab too. I suppose that's why his restaurants were so popular with the town. He started out with an ice cream parlor and branched out from there. Desserts of many kinds were served in that parlor! I remember Connie Nelson making some killer cheese cakes there. Good follows good, doesn't it!!

Bob was also a fellow Taurus. We used to talk about being so connected to the earth, he and I. I spent many afternoons visiting with Bob. After he and his daughter Sunny built a new home in Georgetown, I used to go over once a week and help Bob and Sunny out by cleaning house for them. Sunny used to joke and say that she got me to come out of retirement to help her out. I was a blessing in disguise really. I always got more from Bob than I bargained for. One time I complimented him on a beautiful triangular-shaped jar and when I left that afternoon, it was sitting by my purse for me to take home. He was so generous. And his praises went unsung by him.

There was someone in our community who lost their home to a fire and the next week Bob had delivered a trailer for them to live in and if I'm not mistaken, also gave them some money to get by on. He was just like that. Another friend lost her husband and was down on her luck and didn't have transportation. He gave her his car. Most people didn't know how generous Bob was to so many in town. He never boasted about it. That wasn't like him. He was just a kind, wonderful person that saw a need and filled it.

I will miss Bob dearly. Since we moved to the adjoining county we missed seeing him as often as we used to but he was never far from our thoughts. Bill had just seen him a week and a half ago. They talked about their broken femurs and probably commiserated about their aches and pains...the sad signs of getting older. But Bob was young at heart and taken from this earth a bit too soon in my estimation. I'll always remember him for what he gave...to me, to the community, to his children, to the earth...to life. He was never afraid to take a chance...to gamble on something that he felt was the right thing to do. And most of the time it paid off. I think he landed on his feet more times than not. We all take some bumps in life. Bob learned to roll with his.

Wherever he has transitioned to, I know in my heart that there will be a beautiful garden there waiting for him to tend it. There will also be animals to love and tend to. How could there not be? Someone so special will have a special place to call home. He is loved and missed but he is still here in my heart...in our hearts. Not only this month of the heart, but forever.

Monday, February 4, 2013


HAPPY FEBRUARY BIRTHDAYS TO:



LELA MAE CALDWELL WALLACE

LYNNE MILO

RUBY EVERS

MARY GULLEY PACHECO


FRIENDS WHO HAVE ENRICHED MY LIFE...NOW AND FOREVER!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I SEE A TREND...

I'm seeing a trend appearing in my life lately. This is a bracelet I received as a gift from a really wonderful friend.

And this is a brochure I received in the mail for classes being offered at the Adult School in my area. Do things like this ever happen to you? Do you see trends with words or phrases appearing over and over around you? I'm sure these are not accidents as I believe there are no accidents in life and that everything happens for a reason.

I love that word "endless"...no end...infinity. It really gives you hope doesn't it? Imagine (that's another great word. You can add "ation" to it and it becomes a totally different word but it also has no end. Whatever you can think of, can happen. Put the two words together and they are a powerhouse of ideas that can happen just by believing in yourself and being willing to take a chance and move in a different direction, a different way, a different "possibility". These two words hold such great power.

"It's a possibility" should be the mantra for our world I think. Anything you believe, can happen.

I heard Martin Short talk the other night regarding the shootings that killed so many innocent young children and gun control (which is a really touchy subject for so many people right now because it frightens them and  threatens to take away their power). He said that years ago we would be flying in a airplane and everyone would be smoking or sitting in a building or a crowded space and the same thing would be happening. Then, people could not imagine not having smoking being a part of our lives in such a big way. Cigarettes were advertised in magazines, on television commercials...they were part of the fabric of our lives. But, it took one small step and people  being willing to have an open conversation (and mind) to be to change. No...we weren't trying to take their rights away to be able to smoke...we just wanted there to be a few changes in the way that cigarettes could be smoked. More safety for everyone. This gun-control issue might be the exact same thing.

Let's not take guns away from people, let's just moderate when and how they are used. Let's take baby steps now to get to a place in the future that is safer for all. It's just takes an idea (THE POSSIBILITY) and an open mind or two to IMAGINE what a life without (or moderated) could be. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS in so many aspects of our lives.

I know that I am trying to learn to think in a different way...to see the other person's perspective more often. I can see so many possibilities and I am so happy that each time I wear my new bracelet that I am reminded of that. I can look down at my arm and see the words. I can reach over with my other hand and feel the words engraved in the metal. I'm sure that I won't get there in one day nor will I exhaust every "possibility" that I could even imagine (there are just two many different ideas out there) but...I can pause to reflect and think about my options. I can move in a different direction. I can stay the same. I can modify or change, adjust, release.

This phrase could not be a better choice for me. I know that it took lots of thought and foresight for my friend to select just the perfect words for me. And she was right in doing so. She, too, has been given a gift in doing so. Whether she knows it or not, she has been one of the truly wonderful gifts that I have been given in my life. She helps me see "what is". She helps me discern "what might be". She helps me realize that I'm not crazy or weird. She helps me understand myself more completely. And best of all: she allows me to talk and ramble on about these things. Does she know what an incredible gift that in itself is? The ability to listen and not judge but softly say something that takes you in a different direction is truly a gift.

Things happen for a reason. Pay attention to them and learn the lesson. This is what I am finding in my life right now. And as another friend recently wrote to me: the obstacle is the path!