MEMORIAL WEEKEND

This Memorial Weekend has more "memories" for us. Six years ago May 28, our first granddaughter was born. We celebrated her birthday on Saturday with a party. Then, around 1 PM, April and Joel arrived home with our other bundle of joy. Here is a photo of the new family.

And, here, in such a tiny little picture, is our dear sweet Mae Loree. She will always be part of the memories that we have of Memorial Day Weekend too. She seems to be adjusting very well to her new home "outside" of mommy.
Sorry that these photos are so small. My daughter sent them to me and she must have sized them really small. I hope that when this posts that you will be able to click on them and make them a bit bigger.


There is nothing like the birth of a child to really make you take inventory of your life. You think of all the things, past and present, that you want to do, that you need to do, that you hope you pass on, etc. You think of those people who will be in her life and will guide her. You think of those who have passed over and will not meet her in person but they have left her a bit of themselves nonetheless. It's not all about DNA is it! Sometimes special people in our lives do not share any DNA with us yet they have made the greatest impressions on us.

Happy "Birth" Day Mae Loree. May your days be filled with love, may all your friends be true, may you live a long and healthy life, may you always have a road paved with love, light, and hope. You will grow up next to your cousin Natalie, who already loves you so much. She will share her blankets, toys, Princess capes, and everything else she has with you. She is a loving young girl and I know that you will love her as much as we all do. She was worried we would like you more than her. That could never happen. We love you both the same...with ALL OUR HEARTS! You can't get any greater than that.

"SOULS INTERTWINED: THE MEMORY OF TOUCH"

This is my Mom, holding her newest great granddaughter, Mae. Mae was born on May 26 at 6:09 AM. What a joy to behold this new life in our midst. How blessed we are with this gift of life.

One-day old feet...so tender, so new, that have not touched the earth yet.

"The language of mother and child begins in the body...Through the press of my arms, the weight of my breast at her mouth, my brown eyes holding hers, she knows me best. And I swear that I would find her with my eyes closed from the spiced grass scent of her neck or a stroke along the high arches of her feet. When I nurse her, she folds her body into mine, one foot flung high against my breastbone as my hand traces the small, round bones of her spine. It is almost as if I am still pregnant with her---our physical fusion is once again that complete."

Suzanne Siteman Phillips--------From the book: Mother Earth--Through the eyes of women photographers and writers. A Sierra Club Book.

I am so happy to share our new life with those of you who read my blog. I receive many wonderful comments from people around the world and this thrills me greatly. I have made many "friends" here in the blog world and I am happy to share what goes on in my life with those of you who care.

There are some people who read it, however, that do not wish to remain friends and this intrigues me. Why do you bother? Is is just mere curiosity that keeps you coming back or do I sense the word "care"? If "care" is not in your vocabulary then I kindly request that you leave peacefully and do not bother me any longer. I hope that you noticed that I said "kindly request". I do not wish to be rude. I just don't understand. You can't have it both ways. You really can't.

ATTITUDE

This is my little buddy, Rudy. For short, we call him "Tude". He really does have an attitude too. As some of you may know who have followed me for awhile, we adopted Rudy on Christmas Eve from a lady name Laura who rescues these cute little things from shelters where they are scheduled to be killed after a short amount of time. She lives all the way down in Southern California but drives a van load of these sweeties up to San Mateo and puts them up for adoption. We are so glad that we found him. He is absolutely the BEST little guy...just ask anyone who has met him!
And this other photo is of our dear Bodhi, a Standard Poodle we adopted from some wonderful breeders who also live in Southern California and met us half way. He, too, is one of the best dogs we have ever had and the two of them love to chase each other around the yard and play just like kids. In this photo he is staring over at the neighbors driveway, waiting for us to return. The photo was taken by my daughter, April, who is on maternity leave right now.
We swear that these two Poodles (well...maybe Rudy is not exactly a Poodle but almost!) are human. Both of them respond to us as though they understand what we are talking about. They hear the drawer that holds their leashes open and start jumping in the air and wiggling around. And if the biscuit tin opens...they are there immediately, waiting for their treats. Rudy constantly needs to be touched. And do I mind? Heck no!

Before we got Rudy I had always said that I wanted a little dog that I could hold on my lap and just love. Well...my wish was granted...AGAIN! I seem to be getting everything that I want and need right now. How blessed I am. How lucky I am to have these two wonderful dogs to love me back unconditionally. Kisses anyone?

POETRY AND FRIENDS

Last night, I opened my email and there was something there from my friend, Victoria. Victoria and I have known each other for a very long time (over 40 years) and I consider her to be one of my very finest friends in life.

She and I used to walk home from school almost every day with each other. She was quiet; I loved to talk. My father had committed suicide when I was seven (long before I met Victoria) but having her as a friend during my high-school days when I was trying to sort things out in my life and understand what it was all about was invaluable. She was my own private therapist. She listened, she offered [some] advice but was never judgmental. She was always just a good friend.

And she still is. She listens quietly. She offers [some] advice. But she is always there for me with only LOVE in her heart. And that is a true friend. She knows my flaws very well. But she loves me despite all the warts.

Last night she said that she had been thinking about my family and me quite a bit lately and that brought tears to my eyes. I don't hear from her regularly and sometimes I have to admit that I feel rejected. This ego we have really does get in the way, doesn't it? It's not all about me but when I don't hear from someone I care deeply about it starts me wonderin'. All those self-doubts creep in again.

She asked about my daughter and her pregnancy and then she did something truly amazing: she sent me a copy of a poem I wrote for her daughter well over thirty years ago because she thought that I might like to share it with my daughter. I remembered the poem immediately even though it has been years since I pulled it out of my poetry book and read it. When I finally did look in my book today, I saw other poems that I have written for other friends throughout the years when their children were born. One poem even made its final resting place in the center of a quilt that a few of us made for another friend. Memories bring things to the surface.

Last night, after reading her email and the poem, I went to bed sobbing...sobbing for those I have lost due to misunderstandings and poor communication, those I have lost to death, those I have lost because it was just "time" to move on. I also was sobbing because I was filled to the top with love. That line between the feelings is so fine sometimes.

We are so close to welcoming our baby Mae into the world and somehow that too has a sort of melancholy feeling to it. It also has an "over-the-moon" quality too. What an absolute joy we are about to experience. And I know my friends (those living and not) will be sharing in the joy. Thankfully, I have friends like Victoria who will be checking in on me again (just like she used to when we would walk to school and home again during high school). Quietly, lovingly, without judgment. She is poetry.

Here is the poem I wrote so many years ago.

FOR VICTORIA DURING PREGNANCY

YOU ARE LIKE A CLOUD,

BILLOWY

AND SHAPELY.

SOFT

AND FULL OF SURPRISES.

SOON THE WINDS WILL

POUND AT YOUR SIDES,

FORCING YOU TO CONTRACT AND

RELEASE ENERGY BEYOND

COMPREHENSION.

LIGHTNING, WIND, THUNDER:

THEY ALL HOLD THE KEY

TO CREATION.

A STORM IS ON ITS WAY.

THAT STORM HOLDS LIFE,

THE LIFE WITHIN YOU.

SOON DEPOSITED

UPON THE EARTH

TO LOVE, TO NURTURE,

TO CONTINUE THE CYCLE.

YOU ARE LIFE.

INSPIRATION AND A DREAM

The other day while looking at some of my fellow bloggers, I read Helen's post about sleeping porches. Here is a photo that she posted among many others. Go there and look at the inspiration she has put up on her blog. You will be transported, believe me! I commented on her blog regarding how I have always wanted a sleeping porch too.

We had huge decks at our previous home and one of my dreams for that house was to have a screen-in porch where I could enjoy the cool evenings and not be attacked by the mosquitoes.

I also had fond memories of sleeping out on my grandparent's porch in the summer months. They lived at an elevation that was warm during the day but when night fell, it got really cool. My grandmother had an iron bed out on the screened-in porch that was piled high with warm quilts and once you climbed inside, you were unable to move (or maybe did not want to) because of the warmth and weight of the quilts. Those memories have always been with me and today, in my new house, I finally have a screened-in porch complete with an iron bed. It just got installed yesterday and is waiting the mattress and the coverings.

Here is the entrance to the screened-in portion of the deck. You can see some wicker furniture in the foreground and the iron bed in the background.

A closer view of the furniture waiting for all the stuff that will make it a cozy place to spend summer nights. I can hardly wait! Even just taking a nap there during the day or reading a book sounds so wonderful.

Here's a view of the other side of the deck with our Adirondack chairs. This portion is not screened-in but it is covered and also a wonderful place to sit in the morning sun with a cup of coffee or in the afternoon with lunch. I watch the world go by from this deck.

Dreams really do come true. They may take years to materialize but if you hold them close, re-visit them from time-to-time and keep visualizing them, they will make themselves known to you in the end. Keep dreaming! And thanks, Helen, for reminding me about this. The bed was in the storage unit and was planned to be set up here but I had forgotten about it while it was tucked in the back of the unit. Nice to have "old friends" back again.

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW

Tonight, outside the window in my office/sewing room, a crow has landed in the pine tree, cawing and making so much noise that I cannot miss him. The light is dim, both inside and out, but I have managed to catch a quick photo, although a bit blurry. I'm not sure what he wants to tell me in this brief visit tonight but I'm sure it is a message that I should heed, whatever it is.

Just now, as I look outside the window, the sky is getting grey and I can see the rain beginning to fall again. It is almost 7 PM and still light outside but the grey skies have dampened our spirits a bit here. We had planned on putting our garden in over the weekend, since Mother's Day weekend, our traditional day to plant, was too cold. We postponed it a week and now it looks like it will be another week again before we can put the young plants in the ground. All the hail and snow that we had over the weekend would have ruined the would-be garden anyway. And, our alternate plan (in case all the vegetable plants are someone gone by the time we are able to finally plant) is to just go to the Farmer's Market weekly (or more) and support the local farmers. After all...they work very hard to grow what they do and they should be supported.

Here are the words to a song that I heard in church on Sunday. Beautiful words with beautiful meaning and meant for everyone of you that are reading this. Everyone!

You are the heart,

You are the hands,

You are the voice

Of spirit on earth.

And all you are,

And all you do,

Is a blessing to the world.

Enjoy your week everyone. I'm not sure how much time I will have to post this week as we are at "the count down" to Mae being born. She is due on the 25th but she might be impatient. I hope not. Patience in a virtue or so they say. It's fun having my daughter at home now on maternity leave. We have been doing something together every day for the past couple of weeks and now we can even spend more time with each other. And soon, Mae will be joining us, taking long walks in her stroller. Can there be anything better?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR DUNCAN,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, DEAR STEVE.

May 14th marks the birthday of these wonderful friends and family. Duncan is the sweetest boy you'd ever want to meet. He's polite, kind, smart, and is the older brother to his two siblings. He certainly sets a wonderful example for them to follow.

Steve (standing in bright blue) is also celebrating his birthday on May 14th. I first met Steve at the local high school when he was teaching wood shop for adult education. Steve has been a mentor to me, not only with woodworking but in addition he always answered my questions in regards to mathematics when I was stumped in my advanced math classes at college. He is always cheerful and happy and is one of the most incredible woodworkers you have ever seen. He makes beautiful bowls that he turns on a lathe as well as furniture and anything else you can think of, including houses!

Another good friend of mine, Betty, will also be celebrating her birthday that day also but for some reason I could not find a photo of her. She lives in New Mexico now with her husband Jim and has a daughter named...Teri (and it is spelled the exact same way as mine)!

This area in the Sierra Foothills seems to be filled with people who are either born in April or May. We are earth signs and I suppose we end up living in areas that support our wanting to be close to nature and the earth. We are grounded and lovers of the land. We find solace in being close to the earth and its beauty. We find beauty in the simple things that are around us.

"I believe in God, only I spell it nature." Frank Lloyd Wright

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere." Vincent van Gogh

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY TAURUS FRIENDS! I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE...

THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME.

ALL MY AFRICAN VIOLETS AND ORCHIDS FROM OUR OLD HOUSE HAVE A NEW HOME IN THE GARDEN WINDOW IN THE KITCHEN. THE VIEW LOOKS OUT TO THE GREENHOUSE AND GARDEN. THERE IS THAT FAMILIAR BIRD WATERING CAN THAT MY FRIEND ARLENE GAVE TO ME. THERE IS THAT BIRD HOUSE THAT USED TO SIT ON MY CUTTING TABLE. THAT OLD MEAT CLEAVER FROM MY GRANDMOTHER HAS FOUND A NEW HOME HERE TOO AS WELL AS THE DARLING LITTLE YELLOW CHICKEN TEA POT THAT MY SISTER BROUGHT BACK TO ME FROM COLORADO. SAME WONDERFUL THINGS JUST IN NEW WONDERFUL PLACES.

THE NEW GARDEN CAME WITH SOME NICE RAISED BEDS FOR THE VEGETABLES AND LOTS OF WONDERFUL PLANTINGS SUCH AS THIS LAVENDER AND SOME CALIFORNIA POPPIES. I HAVE FOUND MANY GRAPE PLANTS, STRAWBERRIES, AND SOME OREGANO ALSO. I'M SURE THAT MANY MORE PLANTS WILL MAKE THEMSELVES KNOWN AS THE SEASON PROGRESSES.

MY BUDDHA SEEMS VERY HAPPY POSITIONED IN THE OUTSIDE CORNER OF THE GREENHOUSE. SOON, SOME PLANTINGS WILL BE AROUND HIM MAKING HIM ALL THAT MUCH HAPPIER. I (OR SHOULD I SAY B) HAS TO FINISH GETTING THE 6 FOOT FENCING UP TO HELP DETER THE DEER. I SEE LOW-GROWING GROUND COVERS SURROUNDED BY MAPLES.

I CAN JUST VISUALIZE THE INSIDE SHELVES FILLED WITH POTS OVERFLOWING WITH PLANTS. THIS GREENHOUSE WILL GIVE ME MANY HOURS OF SATISFACTION AND WILL BE A PLACE OF SOLACE TO ME WHEN THINGS GET A BIT STRESSED.

THIS PIECE IS SOMETHING THAT I FOUND TUCKED IN AMONGST SOME WEEDS. WHEN I FIRST SAW HER I HAD A SENSE OF DEJA VU. IT SEEMED TO ME THAT I HAD SEEN HER SOMEWHERE BEFORE BUT I CANNOT TELL YOU WHERE. WAS IT A SIGN THAT THIS PLACE WAS JUST WAITING FOR ME (US)?

MOTHER'S DAY WAS OVERCAST AND A BIT WINDY BUT PERFECT FOR SPENDING TIME OUT IN THE YARD AND GARDEN. AND AS A SURPRISE, MY TWINS AND MY GRANDDAUGHTER ARRIVED WITH THEIR GARDEN GLOVES IN THE AFTERNOON TO HELP ME WORK IN THE YARD. THIS PLACE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN NEGLECTED IN THE PAST YEAR OR SO BUT IT IS NOTHING THAT A BIT OF HARD WORK CANNOT REPAIR. NATALIE EVEN BROUGHT HER OWN SHOVEL TO HELP ME DIG WEEDS. SHE ENDED UP BEING THE "OFFICIAL WATER PERSON" SINCE PLAYING IN ANY KIND OF WATER SEEMS TO BE WHAT SHE LIKES TO DO BEST.

NEXT YEAR MAE WILL BE HERE TOO. SHE IS SCHEDULED TO ARRIVE IN JUST A FEW SHORT WEEKS. THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAITING THAT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE EXCITING WHEN IT FINALLY ARRIVES. IT'S A BIT LIKE CHRISTMAS AND HAVING TO WAIT TO OPEN THE GIFTS. THE EXCITEMENT BUILDS AND BUILDS UNTIL THE MOMENT IS UPON US.

MOTHER'S DAY WAS QUIET BUT FILLED WITH JOY AND WONDER. AS WE WORKED, EACH IN OUR OWN SECTION OF THE YARD, WE EACH FELT AS THOUGH THIS YARD HAD THE SAME ENERGY THAT MY PREVIOUS YARD HELD. IS THAT REALLY A SURPRISE TO ME? NO...I FELT ALL ALONG THAT THIS PLACE WAS WAITING FOR US. IT CALLED MY NAME, BECKONED ME TO COME AND RESCUE IT AND MAKE IT SHINE.

I HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF TAKING THIS PLACE TO THE NEXT LEVEL. I PURCHASED A NEW JAPANESE MAPLE AND PLACED IT IN THE GROUND ALREADY. AROUND EVERY TURN THERE ARE FAMILIAR PLANTS JUST WAITING TO BE RESCUED FROM THE WEEDS THAT SURROUND THEM.

THIS YEAR AND THE YEARS TO COME WILL BE FILLED WITH JOY AND WONDER. IT IS PEACEFUL HERE AND WE LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT IS YET TO BE UNVEILED. I MISS NOT SHARING IT WITH SOME WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US BUT I FEEL THAT THEY ARE WITH ME IN SPIRIT AND PERHAPS THEY ALREADY KNEW WHAT I HAVE YET TO DISCOVER. I LOOK FORWARD TO SHARING IT WITH YOU TOO. WE CAN TAKE THIS JOURNEY TOGETHER. SOME THINGS WILL CHANGE BUT YOU WILL SEE THAT SOME THINGS REMAIN THE SAME. JUST DIFFERENT. LIKE YOU...LIKE ME.

INSIDE LOOKING OUT

I am finally coming up for air! I thought that I had the whole move orchestrated in my mind but when it came to the "actual" move, well, that was another story.

From the outside looking in, it seems like everything happened so quickly and efficiently. Yet, from the inside looking out, quite another story. There are so many layers of emotion that get peeled back and exposed. So many layers of patience that gets tested along the way. And then there is just the physical part of it all: the hours and hours of running on empty trying to get everything loaded on one end and then unloaded on the other. And that does not take into effect the actual putting away part. But, all-in-all, it has been quite a successful move.

This photo is from my office/sewing space looking out the window. I have my computer sitting on my table directly in front of the window so that I can see the beauty that is there while I am on my computer. And the sound? Oh, you should hear all the birds! There are so many different kinds here. Sitting on this front porch, looking down to the meadow below, I can see birds building nests and foraging for food.

This will all take some time to get put into shape. I have been dividing my time (not equally I should say) between the house and the yard. Yesterday I decided that I needed to be outdoors the entire day and so that is what I did. The house can wait. There are so many hidden treasures in this yard from all the previous owners. It is fun finding them hidden behind or under something. Some of them make "the cut" and get to stay in the yard; others get tossed on the pile of stuff that will make its way to the local dump.

Along the way on this new journey I am learning that it is much more important to focus on what is on the inside. Inherently, I already know this but it has taken this move to reinforce this within me. It's not what we have, what we acquire in our lives, that is important. I know, it is fun along the way and sometimes we get caught up in the thrill of it all. But, what it all boils down to is that we arrive with nothing and we leave with nothing. All that other "stuff" is just like packing material for our journey to our next destination. It is up to us to "unpack" all that stuff, cull through what is really important to us and discard the rest, and then begin to really live. Live from the inside looking out. See what is really there...what is really important. And when you decide what that is, savor it as long as you can.

I look back at the time that we spent in our previous home and it was like the blink of an eye. All that time we spent building the house, moving rocks and planting trees and bushes, raising children, spending time with family and friends. All of that is in my memory bank and I can "cash" in on it anytime I want to. What is most amazing to me is that, like I said, it all happened in just a blink of an eye. Wasn't I just 23? Wasn't I filled with energy and lithe young bones that didn't ache or crack? Now...I feel the aches more; my body balks when I try to push it too hard. Thank god for that bottle of Tylenol!

What I have gained (and I knew eventually this would come) is experience. And those experiences have served me well and made me a wiser and better person. This new place is certainly not without its faults either. But, it has good bones and a great location and I think that I have a bit of energy left inside of me. I'm looking out for myself and my family now. I'm looking inside of me and finding that there is so much more in this life for me than I ever thought possible. And I count my blessings for those who have been with me throughout my life and have enriched my life. There are so many hidden treasures that have yet to be discovered and uncovered...not only outside (physically) but inside (emotionally). I'm looking forward to sharing them along the way!

Oh...and did I say anything about the wonders of high speed internet?? Incredible!