TODAY

What is it about shadows? I see them everywhere, as most everyone else does too, but some days they stand out much more in my mind's eye than other days. This shadow of the oak tree in my backyard is one example that really spoke to me. I must say...I see things in these shadows and I am not sure if it is because I can feel my eyesight getting slightly worse than I seem to be relishing the things that I see even more. I want to embrace everything that is out there for me to view before it is too late.

It might not be too late either. Things might miraculously change and one day I will open my eyes to see things the way that I used to see things: nice and clear. At the present moment it appears as though I am looking through a bubble...some of the words run together and some are missing altogether directly in the middle of the word. Some days I notice it, some days I don't. I think that I am just trying to "will" it away because it seems that the ophthalmologist says that it is brought on my the stress hormone cortisol. And heaven knows that I have had my fair share of stress in the last year. Yes...

it kind of looks like this. There are waves and distortions in the middle of my field of vision. I am trying not to focus on it in a negative way but trying to make the best of a somewhat difficult situation.

I started working on a canvas about my eye and what I am thinking about. It has many meanings and still, because I am such a visual person, the eye is very important to the piece. I have been working on a series of art pieces monthly that the topic has been "The I" or "The Ego" and then the play-on-words "eye" definition seems to come "full focus" (no pun intended) because perhaps I need to be focusing outside myself much more than I am. I should be thinking of others more and not be so self-centered. 

The title of this piece is "Cross my Heart..." Remember that old saying that we said when we were promising someone something? Remember what the consequences would be if you told a lie or didn't keep that promise? Well...that needle has many purposes in this painting. I am still working them out; still reflecting and building layers. It is a process as most of you know. But, meaningful and that is what counts. Working through the process; trying to resolve the issues; trying to forgive and move on; trying to remove my Ego from the middle.

'Time is the horizontal dimension of life, the surface layer of reality. Then there is the vertical dimension of depth, accessible to you only through the portal of the present  moment. So instead of adding time to yourself, remove time. The elimination of time from your consciousness is the elimination of ego. It is the only true spiritual practice." (excerpted from Eckhart Tolle)