PONDERINGS AND PUBLIC DEFENDERS

Yesterday I spent the day with some of my favorite people: my twin daughters, their husbands AND my only grandchild. We've all decided that this girl is going to be either a model or an actress because she LOVES to pose. Today she said "Grandma--look at me. I'm a mermaid". So, just had to post a photo of her because she makes me bubble inside. And, isn't that what it is all about?

She loves to draw and paint, has her own easel and when she doesn't have paint or paper convenient she'll paint with a brush and water on the cement! She doesn't need inspiration...everything is inspiration to and for her. She has the BEST imagination too. In the course of the day she was the mermaid, the painter, the T-Rex dinosauer, the sun-bather, and the princess, replete with her princess cape (blanket). She is one special girl and I never get tired of seeing how her imagination takes hold of her.

I wrote a book a short time ago that I self-published entitled "Natalie J. Bird---Imagination Way". I wrote and illustrated it and despite it being very small (only 6 pages) I am proud of it because it emulates her. The pen and ink drawings are of her and her shadow, which she was always curious about. Having taken care of her for over 2 years daily I really got to know her personality and I really have to say that her and I have a special relationship. I feel like her and I don't have to speak in order to understand each other.

I also have a couple of grand-dogs too. Each of them have their own unique qualities and individual looks. I love both of them in different ways and don't have a favorite. It's sort of like your kids: you love them all the same but in different ways and for different qualities. Not one more than the other ever. But, check out this picture of Taylor with her "gorilla lips"!. She just makes me smile!

How could anyone not love that face!! Sweet as can be. Funny yes...but sweet. I will have to post another picture of the other granddog sometime. He is a character too. It just goes to show you that "love is all there is", right? We can lose money in the stockmarket, we can lose our jobs, we can not be able to afford to go out to dinner all the time or buy the latest clothes, BUT...we can love our animals and our family with all we have. That is really all you need.



What I find helps me get through all the trying times in my life lately ARE my friends and family. Who would have thought that a birthday party at the local bar in town where they play karaoke would be so much fun! Our friend, Sunny, who is almost exactly 9 months older than our twin daughters, turned 33 last week and decided to invite all her public defender friends from work up to "The Georgetown Hotel" for an evening of singing and birthday celebration. Now, not being the kind of person who ever goes to "the bar" (it has a history of bar fights and some sordid characters), I was a bit reluctant to attend. But, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings I decided to "suck it up" and just go "for Sunny's sake". Well, I have to tell you that these public defenders know how to have a good time. Maybe it is the fact that they are seeing the worst every working day and still having to find the positive spin to defend the public, but they sure know how to have fun. Nothing but smiles, nothing but positive comments, AND some pretty good singing voices too.!!



Karaoke is a funny thing: give a person a microphone and an audience and the inhibitions soon fade away. And, not always are the voices what they are supposed to be. Does singing behind that microphone and reading the words cascading down the screen make a person a better singer? Hardly ever! But, that night there were some pretty good voices; some powerful voices. And, it was fun and entertaining. Soon the bar was flooded with outsiders not associated with the birthday party. Maybe people are drawn to the sound of laughter and frivolity.



It just made me think: isn't that what we all want in our lives? To be with people who make us laugh until our cheeks hurt, to sing songs with people we love, to dance when the music moves us? I know that I really enjoyed myself and I didn't even have to drink to do it! Life is funny...when you least expect it (and in places you would never expect it) you can find people who are willing to come together and release all their inhibitions and create a positive experience for themselves and others.



It reminded me of artists in a way. Artists throughout history have typically been on the cutting-edge of what is going on in politics and around world. And, these happenings are not always positive; most often they are some really trying times filled with negativity. But, artists can put a spin on things that makes them seem better. Artists know how to buffer the feelings somehow and turn them into a forum that makes people aware, makes people think and conntemplate, makes people figure out ways to cope or fix potential pain and anguish. Art is not ALL about anguish and angst but when it is, it gives the public a way to deal with it and possibly make a difference...even make it right in some respects. Artists are like the "public defenders" in the art world. We know how to find the positive spin in something and turn it around in a piece of art.



We know how to do this because we know how to examine things. We know how to dissect something, take what we need from it, and then return it (not always with all the original elements in tact or even being utilized) to a form that has been re-thought and re-worked. We have altered the original but we have made something new and original to us. I find all this to be incredible and it is why I am an artist. I enjoy thinking, rearranging, changing, and putting forth something original with a positive spin on it. It, to me, is what life is all about.



I can put all this in one simple word (or two). It is THE QUEST. Plain and simple. This may not be what other artists are feeling but it is what I am feeling. It is how I explain what I do and why I do it. And ultimately, that is all that matters. I don't have to have approval or recognition to do my art. I don't even think I have to understand WHY I do it. I just have to do it.



Consider these words: SEARCH--PURSUIT--JURY OF INQUEST--AN ACT OR INSTANCE OF SEEKING--TO SEARCH A TRAIL--TO SEARCH FOR--TO ASK FOR--QUESTION=an interrogative expression often used to test knowledge-- CROSS-EXAMINE--CHANCE--POSSIBILITY. Are these not all related to public defenders AND to artists? The verdict is in for me: GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!

OLD SCHOOL

There was a time in my life that I actually used to type on these. I did always enjoy the sound of the keys clicking as I typed but I hated it when I made a mistake and had to put a little strip of paper in behind the roller to be able to erase it. It is much easier to use a computer when it comes to making mistakes. You can spell check, hit the delete key, hit the backspace key, all those great things that modern inventions offer to those of us who are willing to make the change.

I still cannot get rid of my typewriters. They are a part of me and give me a touchstone to where I have been and where I have come from. I was prompted to read Jack Kerouac's bio on Wikipedia because of M. Heart's reference to being related to him via marriage (I hope I got that right!). I was amazed to read that at one point when he was taking a cross-country trip he took a bunch of tissue paper, ripped it to the size that would fit into his typewriter, and then taped all the strips together in a huge roll so that he could continually write while he was traveling. Now, that is dedication. And, that is certainly old school.

The computer generation has certainly changed the way that people do things as far as writing or keeping in touch. Wouldn't it be odd to see everyone at Starbuck's with their typewriters and long rolls of paper typing away? Besides being huge and cumbersome, it would just be plain distracting to hear all those keys clanking away while you were trying to enjoy a peaceful cup of tea or coffee.

I wish that my mother wouldn't be so frightened about learning something new. We have tried to give her a computer and show her what to do but she is dead set against learning anything new. If she wants to make reservations on-line she asks her friend to do it for her. If she wants to send a virtual birthday card to her grandson in Wales, she asks her friend to do it for her. At what point do you say to yourself "Enough is enough. I need to move forward in my life and learn new things?" Is it the fact that she is just not curious? There is a wealth of knowledge inside that computer just waiting to grace you with it's presence.

I don't think that I could get by without my computer. I feel that it is an extension of me in some way. It is my outlet and my confession box. I am glad that I was not frightened to learn something new like my mother. Granted, there are still things that I have to say "uncle" to and ask my husband for his help. Some things just don't sink in. But, I am learning more than I ever thought I was capable of. I have learned that the key is to just do it and not be afraid. I used to be afraid that I would lose everything if I did something wrong. Now, I have learned to back everything up and just take the leap.

It is good to be from an old school environment but not live an old school life. I admit, there are certain things that are fun to move away from but yet there are certain things that you want to keep around forever: old cars, typewriters, claw-foot bathtubs, actual books vs. books on a Kindle, some vintage clothing and jewelry, old paintings, and old quilts. Some things you just can't improve upon and they get better with age.

FROM MY HEART TO YOURS

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps the singing bird will come.

Chinese proverb

This is a heart-shaped bottle that is sitting on my bedroom window sill. It is filled with sea glass that I have collected from various trips to the ocean throughout the years. From this view I can see down the road but my only neighbors are the trees and their inhabitants.

The trees at this time of the year are still bare from their Winter sleep but they will soon be bursting with new leaves.

Down the road approximately a mile and lower in elevation, the trees are starting to produce their annual leaves. As the new leaves start to unfurl they produce a great color that is really hard to describe. It is not quite brown and not quite green. but, by looking at it you know that it is filled with life and ready to start a new season. they are "turning over a new leaf", literally. New nesting places for the birds, new food for the squirrels, new food for the caterpillars, etc. Nature is incredible and quite the creator.

Mother Nature is the original artist. I look toward her for inspiration at points in my life; actually most points in my life. She can paint with such a broad stroke and doesn't concern herself with which colors belong next to each other. On the other hand, she can make finite decisions and details that I could not begin to imagine on my own. Wouldn't it be great if she would teach a class at the ocean some day? I could use a little R&R away from home. And more sea glass for my heart bottle.

I'm sure that if I was really paying attention I would find that she is teaching me classes each and every day. I am just not always looking or paying attention. That is the thing about life: you have to realize how lucky you are to be here and really be present in the moment; the NOW.

Each and every day there are a multitude of opportunities to create, explore, and experiment. I have to remind myself that it is OK if things are not perfect and that everything doesn't have to match and be exactly "right". Wasn't it Bob Ross who used to call it a "happy accident?" I used to laugh at him and the way that he taught painting on TV but now I think that really he had the right idea. He was doing it at least. He was exploring and experimenting. I'm sure he had some mistakes but then every once in awhile there was that "happy accident" --that AH-HA! moment.

I promise myself to create more; to explore and experiment no matter what the outcome might be. I, too, will be turning over a new leaf. Anyone want to join me at the ocean? Mother Nature is calling...