Friday, January 4, 2013


This little girl sits; smile on face.
Looks can be deceiving.
Inside she is lonely. 
She is frightened of the darkness.
She dances on tippy toes
to please, 
bites fingernails nervously.
She holds her hands over her ears
to block out the yelling, 
vomits on eggs.
masturbates in the darkness of her room.
She questions the sharpness of razors,
wonders if it will hurt.
Gets spanked for finding out.
Takes warm baths, 
gets constipated,
has an enema...
Her ears hear everything (mostly)
and she discerns and sorts,
ponders and wonders, 
learns to adjust.
But does she really?
She still is lonely, 
bites fingernails,
takes warm baths,
gets constipated (no enema).
Writes now,
paints now,
screams occasionally,
discerns and sorts, ponders and wonders.
Adjust Sting


  1. oy, a bit of a hard life...i am glad she has outlets like writing and painting---ponders wonders learns to adjust...that is life...

  2. children are so fragile .... what a sweet face .... a good reminder to hug more and speak gentle words

  3. I'm puzzled by this post. We all have our memories, some good, some bad. I do hope that all memories here on in will be highlighted by the work you do. You know I once painted a little girl sitting outside on the steps of the house. The door was locked, she couldn't get in the house and she was crying. At the window there were eyes peering out, it was her step-sister who would not let her in. I remember that very well, but don't think of it anymore. Guess that's why I painted it. I left my feelings in that painting and now my soul is free. I'm no longer that little girl who cried outside the house. Now I cry inside the house, tee hee.:) Have a wonderful year. Happy New Year!

  4. I see Mae and Natalie in that little face. Hopefully some of the loneliness has subsided with others in her life.

  5. @ Gloria: I think it is important to know where we have been (come from) to know where we are going (are) in our lives. This little girl will always be a part of me but having time on my side, I am able to adjust and grow and yes, art has helped me express some of those feelings.

    @ Kimmie: yes, children are so fragile and so often we adults do not realize the consequences of what we say or do that impacts the life and the memory of that small child. You are right: it is a good reminder to hug more and speak gentle words. The impact of our actions can have a long-term effect.

    @ Kimberly: yep...the lonliness has subsided thanks to the people in my life that genuinely care for me and love me. It helps fill that void that was once left so empty.

    @ Brian: how well you know me! Yes, writing and art really help release what is inside and stored from so many years ago. I, like you, have seen much that has not always been what we expect children to see. But, having a lense now to hold up to it helps me inspect it and see just how I managed to overcome and grow "out" of it. Perhaps instead of saying "grow up" we should say "grow out".

  6. I haven't visited in sooo long. but tonight I posted a vid and looked at my blogroll and started at the end and I am. We never know what life will be for us, but I still think it's better than death.does that sound weird?