TODAY

Today, I woke to the most beautiful sky. There was a feeling that something had changed; something imperceptible yet I sensed that something was different. The sky was filled with clouds that moved slowly across the sky and there was a cool breeze in the air. Overnight, things had changed and I was a witness to that change.

I have been meditating now for almost a year. I have to admit that some days I don't do it at all because I let something get in the way of it. If I am to be successful at the transformation that I am desiring, I need to practice it every day. According to Deepak Chopra, "the spiritual path delivers everything; it can resolve all conflicts....Spiritual unfoldment is delicate. It can't be reached when your mind is too agitated or your attention overwhelmed by stress or other outside pressures. "

I've also been attending a woman's book group weekly. We support each other and encourage each other on our journey through life. We usually pick a book that has a message in it and something that we feel we could all benefit from. The book we are reading currently is "The Shadow Effect". On page 76 of said book I found something that resonated with me. It is this: "As you get closer to your true self, you begin to sense that you are part of everything. Boundaries soften and disappear. There's a blissful feeling of merging."

Since the shadow is a "thing of denial, resistance, hidden fears, and repressed hopes" these things will gradually start to disappear if you are achieving what you desire on your spiritual path with meditation. Instead of denial, resistance, hidden fears, and repressed hopes, one should be experiencing these instead:

Life becomes easier, losing its struggle.

You feel and act more spontaneous.

The world no longer brings negative reflections.

Your desires are fulfilled more easily.

You find happiness in the simplicity of existence. Being here is enough.

You gain in self-awareness, knowing who you really are.

You feel included in the wholeness of life. (Page 78)

Just recently I have realized that it important for me to move past my expectations of other people in my past. In the past, I have tried to make things right, apologize, send gifts to compensate for my lack of apparent understanding, and just plain wondered "why". Perhaps there is no real answer to my question and if there was, it has fallen on deaf ears and now has become a moot point. This is fine. I am happy with who I am and I see that my spiritual work and path is leading me on a much different journey. Sometimes we move beyond others. I know who I really am and I feel myself becoming part of the whole. I feel no reason to assign blame any longer and only send light and love. That is all that I can do. That is all that I need to do.

I am happy that I have taught my daughters well and that we have an open dialogue. We can speak the truth to each other and I can apologize for any past mistakes I might have made in raising them. They understand and forgive me and we move on. I have taught my daughters how to be polite and considerate of others. I have taught them to be honest and forthright. I have shown them love and compassion and would never say or do anything (knowingly) to embarrass them. And I know that this will only transfer through them to my two granddaughters. I am aware of my shadow but knowing it helps me see what is right about me also. And the great thing is that they don't have to assign blame either. They are loving, wonderful daughters who display these qualities to everyone. They do "the right thing". And it pleases me greatly.

"Life----meaning your life and mine---transcends any win-or-lose orientation. Wholeness goes beyond simplistic cause-and-effect explanations. In the web of relationship, you function in a much larger context. Once you see yourself as part of the whole, a new understanding arises. There is no need to label yourself or anyone else as part of the good-versus-evil, right-versus-wrong drama. You can exchange judgment for the real experience of compassion, love and forgiveness. That is the healing that comes with being whole." (page53)