
She has learned to do exactly what she likes to do when she paints. She doesn't worry about editing her work because it might not appeal to someone else. She doesn't even ask anyone for suggestions when she paints. She just goes for it and when it is done, she knows. Why can't I get back to where she is? Why can't I listen to my inner child and know when my work is done? I have pieces still sitting, waiting to be "completed".
These past couple of weeks have really been quite trying, health wise. I had a radioactive iodine test on my thyroid last week. It was a two-day test and waited all week for some sort of report. Nothing. Until tonight at 6:30 when a phone call to a friend was interrupted by call waiting. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. The radioactive tests turned out normal but there is an "abnormality" on the left side. So, now further tests consisting of ultrasound and possibly needle biopsy. Not good things to hear. Too many things to worry about. I guess I just have to try and take a queue from Natalie and just relax and go with the flow. After all, there is nothing that worrying will do or not do for me and basically I just have to take everything a step at a time.
Maybe I'll go out into my studio tomorrow and paint a canvas until I know that it is time to stop. Just paint what my heart is telling me. I wonder if I will know when to stop, like Natalie does or if I will over-think my work trying to make it right? Life is funny. Just when you think things are on the right track, an emotional earthquake hits and sets your world spinning. We, as humans, never know just what is around the next corner. I guess the trick is to just put one foot in front of the other and keep taking steps forward.
Unless you are hyperthyroid [low TSH high T4 and T3] it was not really necessary to do RAI scan. most thyroid evaluation states with blood tests and ultrasound. The biopsy is used for PALPABLE nodules of 1cm and larger with suspicious features.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!!!