Friday, May 20, 2011

POETRY AND FRIENDS

Last night, I opened my email and there was something there from my friend, Victoria. Victoria and I have known each other for a very long time (over 40 years) and I consider her to be one of my very finest friends in life.

She and I used to walk home from school almost every day with each other. She was quiet; I loved to talk. My father had committed suicide when I was seven (long before I met Victoria) but having her as a friend during my high-school days when I was trying to sort things out in my life and understand what it was all about was invaluable. She was my own private therapist. She listened, she offered [some] advice but was never judgmental. She was always just a good friend.

And she still is. She listens quietly. She offers [some] advice. But she is always there for me with only LOVE in her heart. And that is a true friend. She knows my flaws very well. But she loves me despite all the warts.

Last night she said that she had been thinking about my family and me quite a bit lately and that brought tears to my eyes. I don't hear from her regularly and sometimes I have to admit that I feel rejected. This ego we have really does get in the way, doesn't it? It's not all about me but when I don't hear from someone I care deeply about it starts me wonderin'. All those self-doubts creep in again.

She asked about my daughter and her pregnancy and then she did something truly amazing: she sent me a copy of a poem I wrote for her daughter well over thirty years ago because she thought that I might like to share it with my daughter. I remembered the poem immediately even though it has been years since I pulled it out of my poetry book and read it. When I finally did look in my book today, I saw other poems that I have written for other friends throughout the years when their children were born. One poem even made its final resting place in the center of a quilt that a few of us made for another friend. Memories bring things to the surface.

Last night, after reading her email and the poem, I went to bed sobbing...sobbing for those I have lost due to misunderstandings and poor communication, those I have lost to death, those I have lost because it was just "time" to move on. I also was sobbing because I was filled to the top with love. That line between the feelings is so fine sometimes.

We are so close to welcoming our baby Mae into the world and somehow that too has a sort of melancholy feeling to it. It also has an "over-the-moon" quality too. What an absolute joy we are about to experience. And I know my friends (those living and not) will be sharing in the joy. Thankfully, I have friends like Victoria who will be checking in on me again (just like she used to when we would walk to school and home again during high school). Quietly, lovingly, without judgment. She is poetry.

Here is the poem I wrote so many years ago.

FOR VICTORIA DURING PREGNANCY


YOU ARE LIKE A CLOUD,
BILLOWY
AND SHAPELY.
SOFT
AND FULL OF SURPRISES.
SOON THE WINDS WILL
POUND AT YOUR SIDES,
FORCING YOU TO CONTRACT AND
RELEASE ENERGY BEYOND
COMPREHENSION.
LIGHTNING, WIND, THUNDER:
THEY ALL HOLD THE KEY
TO CREATION.
A STORM IS ON ITS WAY.
THAT STORM HOLDS LIFE,
THE LIFE WITHIN YOU.
SOON DEPOSITED
UPON THE EARTH
TO LOVE, TO NURTURE,
TO CONTINUE THE CYCLE.
YOU ARE LIFE.

7 comments:

  1. smiles. big smiles. at your poem and your reaction to your friends as well...ther is still time...and i hope that mae comes smoothly...

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  2. Oh what a wonderful poem !
    You are lucky to have such a lovely friend and she is so lucky to have you !
    I get the sobbing part ... I have been doing a lot of that lately, from fear of having to say goodbye.
    I wish you only happy sobs of hello's and welcomes ~

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  3. Nice blog! Thank you for visiting my blog today and for your comment.

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  4. Beautiful poem, that was a really kind gesture on the part of your friend. Remember that if we are all indeed one, love sometimes manifests through one particular person and sometimes through another. The important thing is to be able to experience love from wherever it comes. I hope that makes sense, I'm only just wrapping my head around the concept myself..

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  5. Wow this touched me....I am writing a story about a childhood friend...she caught fire and nearly died.....I used to walk home from school with her...I don't know what ever happened to her
    All this emotional stuff going on around you...moving from your home of so many years..saying goodby..moving in to new place struggling o make it home quickly ..which we know doesnt happen that way...Your daughter becoming a new mother..a new baby granddaughter....so much emotion....
    old childhood wounds often rise when we are stressed beyond our comfort stuffing of them...I think this is healing going on...I'm still healing from things that happened over 50 years ago.....We love..we live...God bless your friend Victoria...truly a gift....
    and she does love you even when the little girl in you worries that she doesn't ....she does.....This is your year Teri...hold on...great things are happening
    sobbing is good...it's real
    BLess you

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  6. Oh I forgot to say....that poem is magical and full of dreams....I would have saved it too

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  7. I do some sobbing from time to time myself. I thought I''d lost a very dear friend several months ago, to mis-communication. We healed, realizing the door had always been left ajar. Now, having them back in my life is such a gift. I also have a life-long friend similar to what you described. There is such value in these friendships. You seem to be going through changes and change does bring up things we might need to revisit. It sounds like you have a beautiful approach to it all.

    A lovely poem: the "storm that holds life." Very nice.

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