I have been saddened lately that I no longer have a long-time friend in my life. But, I realize that the kindness that I thought I was extending was not received as it was intended. I was treated to silence for months; left to try and figure out what I had done to deserve such treatment. It never got sorted out and probably never will. For that I am sorry but I also have realized that no amount of talking to someone that will not discuss issues openly can ever lead to any compromise. And that, ultimately, was what we were going to have to arrive at: a compromise. It was described to me as a debate. No, not a debate, just discussion. Communication requires discussion and questions. So, Melanie has helped me through her article to become aware of how little control I actually have of the problem. And, that it is important to let it and the relationship go.
All I can do is send loving thoughts. I know in my heart that my actions and words were meant only out of love and concern. I admit that my feelings were hurt but I am human and entitled to my feelings and emotions. No one has the right to say that someone doesn't have the right to feel a certain way.
I have been reading some very incredible poetry lately on these blogs. Brian, over at Way Station One writes the most incredible stuff. Yesterday, he brought me to tears with a poem about Breakfast. It was filled with sadness, emotion, regret, and heart-wrenching pain. He really knows how to feel his emotions. Some might say it is not good to put all that "out there" for others to read. I disagree. I think that by writing about all that pain, all that sadness, all that hurt is a catharsis and helps to get it out where it can be examined and sorted out. It is not healthy to keep all that bottled up inside of one's self. Brian: I applaud you for you genuine honesty with your feelings. It is blogs like yours that I look forward to reading because they are filled with what we are all made up of.
Anyone can write fluff blogs; all that general stuff about what they ate for dinner, where they went shopping, what kind of cars they drive, etc. but not everyone can touch the very core of a person's emotions and bring it forth so eloquently. Brian does this in his blog. He is in my blog roll in my sidebar. He does a few group poetry challenges it looks like. I am in one with him that is hosted by Willow. She is another one who is so deep and writes from her soul.
I really think that I have only just begun to tap into the wealth of writing in this virtual world. I am so impressed with what I have found so far and I know there is just much more to come. So, follow your hearts everyone. Do what your intuition tells you to do and share you thoughts and emotions. And send some love to those who choose to not be in your lives. It might not change them but it will certainly change you. After all, if you took our emotions away we would just be mammals that cannot reason. Sometimes reason is all we have: reason to live, reason to love, reason to be happy, reason to work, reason to get married, reason to write, reason to sing, reason to go to school, reason to wake up, reason to...There are a million reasons to...